This post might actually change course as I am writing because I have nothing to actually write about and this makes me sad. It makes me sad because I feel that this is a direct result of my having no life. If I blogged right now at this minute about what is going on in my life I would blog about sitting in front of my computer while The George Lopez show plays on Nick at Nite and I play the Sims and sometimes say (to myself) "Omg, my sims dogs are so cuuuute while my real dogs give me the mental doggie finger. In other words, my life is very dull and uneventful. So, what is actually going on in my life:
School: The semester is coming to a close. Thank God because I don't think I could stay awake for one more class of anything. Unfortunately, all of my professors have decided to go for one last hoorah and assign "projects". They look different for every class. Economics: power point presentation on Fiscal Policy. Statistics: a "tech" assignment. A tech assignment is a ridiculously difficult project which must be done on "minitab", a slightly more confusing version of Excel. Yay. Spanish: Ok, I don't really have a project to do for Spanish but seriously, what would that even be like? And for P.E. (yes. I am taking p.e. this semester) I have to do a paper on syphilis. This is probably going to be my favorite project just because when I announce what my project was over I get to say, "I have syphilis". I apologize to any readers who actually have syphilis. I realize that it is not a laughing matter. But in my defense it is kind of your fault that you have it. Anyways, it could be worse. Joe has to get up and list all the negative effects of marijuana. I would have a difficult time with this sort of project so I feel a little sorry for Joe. Unless I could say, "Marijuana is most likely going to make me not give a damn for failing this project", I got nothin'.
Work: Work is fun because I got laid off from the Video-Rental-Store-That-Shall-Not-Be-Named-In-So-Much-That-My-Severance-Contract-Forbids-Me-From-Speaking-Badly-About-Said-Chain (I honestly feel they should rethink the name) and have since then landed a job at the Bookstore-That-Shall-Not-Be-Named-Just-In-Case. I go to work. I shelve books. While I'm shelving books I get asked questions like "Do you work here?" and then I look at them like they're retarded for just a split second before smiling and saying "Yes. How may I help you?" I mean, I've never gone into a random store and just started stocking shelves. Who does that? Well the people who work there, of course. When my boss feels I need to be punished, she puts me in the music department where there are no customers. But I'm not allowed to do anything else but stand there for however many hours, counting the lights in the ceiling. There are well over 20.
Home: I come home where I clean up the trash that my main dog, Zoe has dragged out of either the kitchen garbage can or the bathroom garbage can and, depending on which it was I clean up the vomit of my emergency back up dog, Alice which resulted from whatever trash she ate before I got home. I then sit in front of my computer contemplating starting one of my projects and play the Sims, instead. Playing the Sims is like directing a soap opera. For me, anyways because there are always cheating Sims. The husband cheats on the pregnant wife and my reaction to this (even though I am in complete control over all of it to begin with) is: "Gasp! Bastard! She is totally divorcing you, buddy." And then they get divorced. Or I drown him in the pool. Take that, cheater! Sometimes I have company. This motivates me to clean, but only a little bit. Honestly, we only need to use one couch for sitting so the clean laundry can stay on the other couch. Who's going to use it? No one. They should probably eat before they get here so there is not really a need to do any dishes as long as I have clean glasses for drinks.
This is my life in a nutshell. It's depressing but still slightly intriguing that I can write this much about such a sad subject.